Philosophy and Pippin just don't mix
by lemmings-please
Summary: Pippin decides he wants a special kind of beer. The problem is, it was brewed by Gandalf! What kind of evil concoction is it...?
1. Pippin wants Gandalf's brew

Philosophy and Pippin just don't mix  
  
Merry happily walked over to the table where his fellow hobbits sat, gloomily looking at their rather small mugs of beer. Reaching up to place his own mug (considerably larger than theirs, as well as fuller) caught their attention immediately.  
  
"This, my friends, is a pint," Merry stated proudly.  
  
Pippin leaned over his own cup to stare at Merry's beer, eyes bulging. "I'm getting one," he said.  
  
"You've had a whole half already!" Frodo said, but made no move to follow, as he was too busy staring at Merry's beer mug.  
  
Merry sniggered.  
  
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Pippin ducked under the swinging door that led to behind the bar to talk to Barliman Butterbur.  
  
"And what would you like, little Master?" asked the bartender as he polished a mug.  
  
"I hear Gandalf brewed something for you once," Pippin squeaked. "I'd like a pint of that, please!"  
  
Butterbur narrowed his eyes darkly. "That's nasty stuff, that is," he whispered the bartender.  
  
Pippin's eyes shined. "But Gandalf brewed it," he whispered reverently. "Gandalf can't make anything nasty."  
  
Butterbur looked at the hobbit irritably. "Oh, yes he can," he said.  
  
Pippin's brows lowered and he said forcefully, "I want Gandalf's brew! I want Gandalf's brew! I want Gandalf's brew..." over and over.  
  
Finally Butterbur put a hand over Pippin's mouth. "Fine! Fine! If it's Gandalf's brew you want, it's Gandalf's brew you get! But don't say I didn't warn you..." At this he turned into the back and emerged with a full pint of Gandalf's magical mixture.  
  
Cradling the cup in his hands, Pippin walked back over to the table. Frodo and Sam's gazes moved from Merry's beer to Pippin's. Merry continued guzzling his beer.  
  
Basking in the attention, Pippin took a deep breath before picking up his drink again. Then he downed it all.  
  
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*gasp!* What kind of mixture did Gandalf make? What will it do to Pippin? Will he survive? Come back when the next chapter is uploaded, and in the meantime, REVIEW!!! 


	2. Is beer the meaning of life?

Pippin slowly put his beer mug down, his eyes thoughtful. Then (at the same slow pace) turned to Merry.  
  
"Merry," said Pippin dazedly, "Is beer the meaning of life? And if it isn't, what could it possibly be?"  
  
Merry choked on his drink. Frodo edged away from Pippin and pulled something out of his pocket. Sam looked thoughtful.  
  
"It may be, Master Pippin."  
  
Merry choked on his beer again. Frodo edged away from Sam as well. Finding that this put him closer to Pippin, he began to slide under the table.  
  
"Why are mushrooms the tastiest food I've ever eaten?" Pippin said philosophically.  
  
Merry choked yet again. Frodo whimpered from beneath the table.  
  
"Um... because they are?" Sam answered, thoroughly confused at this point.  
  
"But WHY are they?" Pippin persisted.  
  
Merry decided that he wouldn't take another swallow, and therefore couldn't choke. If he had taken another swallow, however, he would have choked. Frodo emerged from under the table and began determinedly crawling away. Sam gave up and looked into his mug, defeated.  
  
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In the corner, a man's face was blurry. The man whose face was blurry got up and walked over to the bar. "I'll have what that funny-looking short guy had!" he said, and grinned cheerfully.  
  
Barliman Butterbur was about to make a comment, but stopped as Strider (yes, Strider, that's who this guy with the blurry face is) pulled out a sword.  
  
"If you don't get me what I want, I'll have to cut out one of your major organs!" he said, and grinned cheerfully.  
  
Barliman plastered a fake grin on his face and gave Strider his magical beer.  
  
"Thank you for doing what I wanted, because cutting out people's spleens is a nasty business!" Strider said, and grinned cheerfully.  
  
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Oh no! Pippin has become a philosopher! *gasp!* Is Merry going to die because he choked so many times? Is Frodo going to get lost while crawling under the tables? Is Sam becoming an evil philosopher too, or is he just weird? And what about Strider? Why is he grinning cheerfully all the time? Come back later, and again, REVIEW!!! 


End file.
